I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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