I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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