I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
