The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
