As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
