Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
