I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
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