Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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