whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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