So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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