oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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