If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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