My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
