woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
