STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
