If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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