She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have fence marks all over my body
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
