Me. At least after what I've been through.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
