Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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