in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
