Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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