She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
