VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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