Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
