No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
