it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
