Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
