like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
