They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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