so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
