"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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