I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
