true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
