Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
