he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
