apparently the secret to your success is patron
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
