Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
