HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
