Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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