I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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