i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
