i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
