my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
