so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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