Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
