there was a trapeze. enough said
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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