i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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