but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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