mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
