Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
