Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
