I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
